there is a difference between people who are smart and people who get good grades
(via april-hazel)
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.that was a wild ride
(via lamekenneth)
Puppy versus Dandelion
HE’S SO UPSET
what an idiot, I want 10 of him
He’s Counting Down From 21, And By The Time He Reaches 15, My Stomach Is In Knots
Th
This. This is important.
Fuck
(via wu-a)
Anti-rape wear. Its almost impervious to knife attacks and tearing/stretching.
The waist and thigh extremities of the garment are cut and tear resistant (the guy in the video cant cut them with industrial scissors) and they cannot be moved more than a few centimetres when locked into place, the forward area in front of the genitals is also reinforced.
Please, for the love of god, even if you cant donate, just spread this idea wherever you can, they need $50,000 to be able to manufacture it and they currently have just over $6,000 with 20 days left.
Go to igg.me/at/AR-Wear to donate and/or view their full info.
PLEASE PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THE SHIT OUT OF THIS I WANT MY NOTIFICATIONS FILLED WITH LIKES AND REBLOGS OF THIS
GUYS THERE ARE ONLY TWENTY DAYS LEFT AND THEYRE STILL FAR FROM THEIR GOAL
IF YOU CANT DONATE AT LEAST REBLOG TO SPREAD THE WORDOK WTF
TUMBLR IS SO ANTI-RAPE SO WHYYY DOESNT THIS HAVE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF NOTES??? SPREAD THE WORD!
It’s really upsetting to think that this kind of thing even needs to be invented/used but it obviously does and it’s important. I think the idea and concept will give women confidence and security IF they need it. Watch the video and if you can’t donate anything, reblog the post :)
Too broke to donate, but I’ll boost the hell out of this.
This is brilliant.
(via lamekenneth)
(via helixnthus)
fuks:
SAIL
I PRESSED PLAY JUST AS I WAS TAKING A DRINK AND DIET COKE JUST SHOT OUT MY NOSE. I FEEL LIKE I JUST VOMITED
there are so many layers of humor to appreciate here
the disruption of pleasant relaxing music
the word “sail” being yelled slightly off-beat as if the person filming was planning this and got a little eager
the small child’s laughter in the background
the pianist whispering “shit” to himself as if he only dropped an m&m or something
the foot appearing seemingly out of nowhere
the dedicated pianist falling down with his piano
it’s all so beautiful
(via lamekenneth)
Wow. Just look at that costume change. Whomever is the designer, so much respect.
Is this Hunger Games
(via helixnthus)